...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize