we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
