I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
