I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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