oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
