that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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