It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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