Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
