these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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