How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
