so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
