Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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