its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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