just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
