We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
