when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
