White coat. Heels.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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