I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
