Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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