so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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