that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
