Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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