It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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