5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
