The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
