i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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