i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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