you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
