I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
