Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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