Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
