I just made out with a guy for $7.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
