I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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