Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
