But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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