He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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