I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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