the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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