if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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