Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
