ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
