who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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