If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
