We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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