If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
is it fun? or sober?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
