Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
