I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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