The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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