He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The adults are the big ones right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
