i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
